I keep trying to write, but I never get very far. I feel like one of two things has happened. Either I have cleared an entire level of all major threads and am just grasping at cast off threads culled from the longer ones while I search for a path to the next level. Or, I’m searching through in the dark, grasping at the threads and unable to see more than a bit at a time, following it down and sussing it out only to forget where I was and where I am going.
I think it is the former. I don’t feel as heavily burdened, even if I still feel the weight of all I want.
I am on the verge of major changes. I’ve been talking and planning and very soon I will be doing, as best as I can. Until I get there though, I don’t have much to say.I want to say it all, but it just doesn’t want to come out yet. I think this was inevitable though. There had to be a lull in the entries at some point. I don’t want it to be, but I think it needs to be. I won’t be completely gone though. There are still a few things I want to write about that I know I can, but the more introspective stuff like I have been doing will slow for now.
I will also transition to posting art once I get to making it more. My wacom tablet comes later today, so I plan to do a lot of playing with that. I will also be switching shifts soon and should have more time to paint in the near future. I have a longboard, a canvas, and a few other things I need to paint. Once I make art more, I think I can then leverage it into a job of some sort on the side. That’s the hope anyways. Eventually, I want to make a living off of it but that’s not always easy. If it is what I am supposed to do though, it will happen. I am open and listening now and will follow whatever I feel I am led to do.
Well, I’ll not say goodbye or farewell or anything of that sort. I’m not really going, I am growing. See you on the other side.