Lost and Searching

The One About Religion

I am finally coming close to writing about my personal religious beliefs and how they affect my life. I know that this is a polarizing subject and that it has a tendency to change views, but it is a subject that has to be touched on if I am to reconcile myself and move forward.

I have thought of religion a lot over the past 8 years. It has always been there. Though I walked away from churches many years ago, I never really stopped believing. I have formed my own beliefs about God, the Devil, and Jesus. Though I base them on what I have read and studied in the Bible, I do not really know how well they fit in there anymore. I haven’t picked up a Bible in many years, though I studied it at great length throughout my childhood. I mean, I DID want to be a Pastor at one point. While I have not touched my Bible, I know that much of what I have thought of is still greatly rooted in it. I have just come to different conclusions than many others have in the past 2000 years.

I suppose that as I write all of this, I will have to pick it up and read through some of what I talk about. I know I need to read Leviticus more and go deeper into the laws that God set forth for the Jewish peoples. I also have some other things I know I need to read that will help me cement or dissolve some ideas I have. I think I need to buy a concordance as well since you can’t really study the Bible without one. Then again, those are based on ‘popular belief and interpretation’ and that is much of what I shun. Wouldn’t hurt to see it though.

Because this is such a large part of me and I have spent many years thinking on it, this cannot be done in a single blog. It will most certainly need to be a series of blogs. In light of that, I have set up a rough outline of what I want to talk about. I stress that it is rough. It may change a great deal as I really get into it, and I will change this outline to reflect that. I will also go through and update each point with the corresponding blog post. I do not know yet if the main points or the secondary points will be the blog posts. It very well may be a mix of both. We’ll see as it pours out of me. As it pours out of me, I will also tag all of them as ‘Religion’ and find a way to make this a separated blog of sorts (I cannot actually do this due to how wordpress works, but there are ways to fake it). I may even make this post into a page on the blog as well.

While I finally have this blog post kicking off the entire subject of religion, it may still be a while before I go into it further. It will happen though.


  1. Growing Up With Religion
    • The Beginnings
    • The Good Years
    • Northside Freewill Baptist Church
  2. Moving Away From Religion
    • The Downfall
    • Walking Away From It All
  3. Core Beliefs
    • Religious
    • Scientific
    • Wyrd
  4. Melding the Beliefs
    • Coexistence Without Conflict
    • Accepting the Errors That Arise
  5. Issues
    • Hypocrisy
    • The Death of Knowledge
    • Small Mindedness
  6. Coming to Peace With it All
    • Finding My Way Back
    • Beginning to Pray Again
    • Seeing Him Work in My Life Again
    • Accepting That I Am Still Far From Ready
  7. Moving Forward
    • Finding a New Church
    • The Future

As a post script, that outline was not easy to write. All of the nesting had to be done manually, which meant writing a lot of individual html tags to make it work.

Edited to add: Or not. After publishing, the list is not as I wanted it. Going to have to play with it to get it to work right. I do not like the dual numbered list it has now.


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